Picture of the Day - Theres a Crack in It

To seal up that pesky crack once and for all.

And apparently give it a pleasant scent.

Picture of the day - There Goes The Diet

Once Again I've been away for a few days.

  To Commemorate my return, I dub this sandwich...

The Diet Breaker!

Lions and Tigers and Imoogis, Oh My!

I wasted 90 minutes of my life.  I knew I was doing it but I did nothing to stop myself.  It would have been really easy to stop, just the push of a button but I decided not to.

I watched a movie that I got in the bargain bin at Walmart.  Watched it and now I have given up time I will never get back.

Prior to watching this film I went to the almighty IMDB, and looked it up.  It was a bargain bin movie so I didn’t expect much but it got horrendous reviews.  It only received a 3.8 out of 10 and in 4 reviews that I read the writers alluded to this particular film being the worst they had ever watched.

Still, ever vigilant, I popped it into my 360 and pressed play.

Big mistake.

The story is ok I guess in theory but was just awful on screen.   It is a movie based on an ancient story about creatures called Imoogis.  The bad imoogi has an army of giant lizards with rocket launchers, militant dinosaurs, and evil minions.  He is trying to gain immortality.  The two main characters have to feed the female character to the good imoogi otherwise the bad one will rule the world I guess.  I won’t get any more into it because I don’t feel like reliving this and wasting more of my life.

Review – Dragon Wars: D-War

This movie was basically a CG and explosion fest.  If you are under 13 years old or over 13 years old and intoxicated you will probably really like this movie.  Not to disrespect young kids but at that age The story is then not as important to you and you will take the movie for what its worth big booms and pretty good CG effects.  In my opinion the acting is so bad, the movie would actually be better if you just removed the human characters from it and just had the non human characters fighting in the city for no apparent reason.  The story was a miss, the dialogue was ridiculous, and the acting was horrid as stated before.

Recommendation: 

Great movie for kids! 

Great movie for drunk folks! 

Everyone else STAY AWAY!!!

Picture of the Day - When I think Staples...

This picture was taken at the Staples in Elk Grove Village, IL

Cause when I think staples... I think Slap-Chop!

"You're gonna love my nuts!"

Youtoobz and Lolz

Not that I always enjoy other peoples suffering, but this is just funny.

I love how all the skinny kids are just in and out of the bowl with no problems, not trying to taunt him, but surely he feels embarrassed.  If this was in America, this kid would still be in the bowl, no one would care enough to help him.  Even if someone would help (I would)  this video proved that he needed at least three people and a sweatshirt to get out (and the two people i found to help both had tee shirts on).  I wonder how school will go for him the rest of the year, and even beyond it.  I cant imagine the names will be too nice.

Good luck my friend, you'll need it!

Picture of the Day - Neighborhood Watch

ADT... who needs ADT.  I've got a Zebra!

Picture of the Day - Meryl

Our New Buddy, Meryl.

Picture of the Day - ??????????

They say, "A pictures worth 1000 words." and if I had 5000 i couldn't make this any funnier.

Enjoy!

Picture of the Day - Really?!?!

I thought those slanted yellow lines meant "reserved for Smart Cars".
Now where am I supposed to park?!?!

Picture of the Day - Found a Peanut

Found a peanut, found a peanut,
Found a peanut just now,
Just now I found a peanut,
Found a peanut just now.

Cracked it open, cracked it open,
Cracked it open just now,
Just now I cracked it open,
Cracked it open just now.

It was rotten, it was rotten,
It was rotten just now,
Just now it was rotten,
It was rotten just now.

Ate it anyway, ate it anyway,
Ate it anyway just now,
Just now I ate it anyway,
Ate it anyway just now.

Got a stomach ache, got a stomach ache,
Got a stomach ache just now,
Just now I got a stomach ache,
Got a stomach ache just now.

Called the doctor, called the doctor,
Called the doctor just now,
Just now I called the doctor,
Called the doctor just now.

Penicillin, Penicillin,
Penicillin just now,
Just now I took Penicillin,
Penicillin just now.

Operation, operation,
Operation just now,
Just now an operation,
An operation just now.

Died anyway, died anyway,
Died anyway just now,
Just now I died anyway,
Died anyway just now.

Went to heaven, went to heaven,
Went to heaven just now,
Just now I went to heaven,
Went to heaven just now.

Wouldn't take me, wouldn't take me,
Wouldn't take me just now,
Just now Heaven wouldn't take me,
Wouldn't take me just now.

Went the other way, went the other way,
Went the other way just now,
Just now I went the other way,
Went the other way just now.

Didn't want me, didn't want me,
Didn't want me just now,
Just now they didn't want me,
Didn't want me just now.

Was a dream, was a dream,
Was a dream just now,
Just now it was a dream,
Was a dream, just now.

Then I woke up, then I woke up,
Then I woke up just now,
Just now I woke up,
I woke up just now.

Found a peanut, found a peanut,
Found a peanut just now,
Just now I found a peanut,
Found a peanut just now.

Card Carrying Member

Good morning, I hope everyone is enjoying the pictures of the day.

A few days ago I received a letter in the mail that I had been waiting for, for about a month.  It was from Chelsea in America.

http://www.chelseainamerica.com/

I follow Chelsea FC, an English football (soccer) team.  As of a week ago I am an official card carrying member of the official supporters club of America (Midwest Blues sector).  Now the question remains what am I going to do with this amazing power.

I could use it to pick up chicks, but i don't think my girlfriend would smile at that.

I could use it to get into locked doors in a lot of places because it is the perfect mix of hardness and floppiness (insert your own joke here)

At any rate, I am excited now to receive this years free gift.  Should be coming in the mail in a month or so.  A DVD of videos from the summer tour this year.  It will be awesome.

I'm just excited about this.  Looking forward to the next meet up!  

Picture of the Day - 35 or 36 Please

170 Calories per can.

50mg of sodium.
46g of carbs - 45 of them sugar.
Made with Carbonated Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup and/or Sugar and less than 2% of: Concentrated Ruby Red Grapefruit juice, citric aid, modified food starch, sodium benzoate (preservative), natural flavors, caffeine (I believe it's 39mg), glycerol ester of wood rosin, red 40, and bromated vegetable oil.

In other words, the best pop in the world.

Picture of the Day - Charizard

I wish this picture was holographic cause that crap is RARE!

Picture(s) of the Day - Get Drunk and Die

The Fruit Fly:

Drosophila Melanogaster:

AKA - The Ultimate Party Animal

See all those little bugs... those are fruit flies!

This is how I'm catching them

Its a weird thing...

Seems like all they want to do is get drunk and die!

Picture Of The Day - Unused Minutes

This is what happens when you throw away unused minutes,

They get smashed up in a Home Depot parking lot.

Remember, Saving Minutes...

Yeah Mom I know... Saves Money.

But I don't care Mom, I have Verizon!

Am I Still Allowed to Laugh??

Sorry Folks, Its been a while.

Everything you are about to read is TRUE!  I am not making any of this up! (except the part about the buttery door). This happened only moments ago so my recollection is pretty accurate still.  Enjoy!

While I have been working hard lately to loose weight,  I have not really been cataloging anything.  That being said, from a bloated and flabby starting weight of 250, I am down to a slender 217 as of this morning.  So that is 33 lbs of weight loss in the last three or four months.  Not too shabby.  I am currently a little over half way to my goal.

Enough on that subject.

Today I was at subway.  I was sitting, slowly eating my Turkey Breast and Black Forest Ham on Honey Oat, YUM!  I was sitting in such a way that I could see the people in line and I was watching them and making observations and guesses as to what they were like and what they were about.  (This is just something I like to do.  It is all done in my head, I'm not a crazy person, I swear!)

So the line is in front of me and the door is behind me.  The little bell on the door rings and I say to myself, "here comes another one."  but no one comes...  I turned around to see a man buttering the door so that he can squeeze through sideways with out scraping his nipples off. He walked up to the line, and at first I gave him a fair chance.

"Maybe he's the next Jared"

I could not have been more wrong.  He orders "The Feast" and as if thats not bad enough he makes it a footlong too!!  For those normal people who dont know what this is, it is that sub that they have in the little display case on top of the counter that is overflowing with meat and cheese and paper lettuce.

 This sub has 1180 calories (this includes cheese, but no dressings).  He adds all the veggies, good  for him, if you put green peppers on a bowl of lard, it doesnt make it good for you.  He then gets to the part of subway that can be most dangerous for your health, The dressing station.

He looked puzzeled and scratched his stomach while he pondered the dressing that he wanted on his sandwich.  We both knew what was coming, but i didn't anticipate what i heard next.  Now, lets all rememebr that so far we are up to 1180 calories.  This gentleman said, and I quote, "extra heavy mayo."  I was far from surprised but a little grossed out.  I can not attest to exactly how much "extra heavy" as I was sitting in my seat with the sandwich not in view, but I would assume it was a lot.

So, after they make your sandwich, at my subway, the delightful Indian man behind the counter says with a thick accent, "Chips and a drink, buddy?"  This guy beat him to the punch.  He was half way through "Chips and a..."  and the guy grabs the biggest cup they have and says coarsely "I WANT AN EXTRA LARGE!"

The guy behind the counter is taken back a bit but then says, "well how bout chips?"

The guy pulls a bag of chips and says that he wants them but also wants some cookies.  He proceeds to order 6 cookies.  The three I remember him saying are chocolate chip, macadamia nut, and peanut butter, might have just been two of each.

This Tyrannosaurus Rex looking leviathan pays the nice Indian man a small fortune for all of this.  I was eating and didnt hear the exact about but it had to be over 15 dollars. He goes and fills his extra huge 44 oz with regular coke, and walks out. of the store.

As he was walking out I managed to take a picture of him with my cell phone while pretending to text with my friends.  Surely I did not look nearly as inconspicuous as I thought I did, but I did my best.  I immediately sent this pic via picture message to my friends with whom I have free picture messaging. (If you wanted to be in the loop sooner, you should have had Verizon)

this is the snap I made of him leaving.

Now this is when it gets even funnier.  I'm sitting there enjoying my sub and the apple slices I got as my side, which you see there in the picture.  5 or ten minutes go by.  I'm still laughing to myself but I've moved on from it deciding that I would write this blog post when I got home.  Ringalingadingdong!  the door is opening again and I have a new person to watch while I eat.  WRONG!  It's the fat guy again.  I was thinking was there something wrong,  they couldn't have forgot anything, you had everything behind the counter on your sub.  But that wasn't it at all.  He won two cookies with his scrabble piece and wanted to collect on his winnings right now, because clearly he didn't have enough to satisfy his hunger.

I laughed and laughed, once he left. (what a lunch)

Every story should have a moral, so to conclude I would first like to say, SHAME ON YOU... Subway!

You have failed a man in more ways than one.  You are supposed to be a healthy alternative to fast food, well NOT today!  And then, as if that wasn't enough, when you failed to be healthy you couldn't even satisfy! SHAME ON YOU.

Secondly, I cant help but wonder, since fat people are allowed to make fun of and laugh at other fat people (without worry of offence), am I out of order here?  I'm not thin by any stretch of the imagination, but I dont consider myself "Fat" anymore.  After relegation from "oh god, look at that guy!!!" to "pleasntly plump" am I still allowed to laugh?   As I continue to loose weight and arrive at my goal weight of, "thin and fit"  will my unfortunate spell in the "fat light"  grant me the right to poke fun even when I'm skinny?  I sure hope so.